Haven't gotten to read very much, but I read some of what you wrote. I am nearly 60, female. I was raised in Church of Christ, due to the obvious ugliness - not Christian love - of the "christians" I observed close-in, I chose to move into New Age (not Christianity - tho' the Bible and God, Jesus were used selectively).I had been in New Age from about age 16 to about early 40's. Actually, I came BACK to the Lord during a terrible, hurtful time where my son had been injured - life altering - and I was suicidal, so much pain. The New Age muckty-mucks, some of whom I knew personally - were totally insensitive to the pain, only interested in further testimony that all EVIL, all bad things are just lessons, etc.Probably could have dealt with that had it been me, not my 9 yr old son. I saw Robert Tilton on Tv middle-of-the-night, over several weeks, speaking the Word. I began reading the Bible again, getting much comfort. We then gravitated to K. Copeland/Hagin, etc. (This was '91-'92) Well, over the years, I confess, we gave much money to them and others (j meyer). Not finding a church which spoke to us of a LIVING GOD, etc. We didn't have much money to give, but did that, not wanting to BUY favor, but to help others, etc. (Yes, good intentions.) But, all along there was a sense in me that even tho' there was a good message, also it was the focus that God wanted us all to prosper (yes, that scripture - 3 John verse 2) that it wasn't going toward God. Have also experienced the private small groups, etc. I understand the Copelands are now building a multi-million dollar home OUTSIDE the United States (so much even for "their" patriotism, much less God). We began seeing that we were sacrificing to give money to church AND ministries whilst these men and families were outrageously getting more and more and more. And, something inside kept saying - "you're not dumb, why are you accepting this?" Well, no more. We do sometimes give money to Robison - water, etc. for dying children; and also Operation Blessing, because the main things, like United Way, Community Chest; Red Cross, etc. are even worse in getting funds to help people than these Christian groups. We haven't found a church that isn't trying to be TODAY...lets have plays, concerts (for pay), etc. etc. We had a particularly difficult (God got us through, I guess! We're still here) year, finally got my husband to begin going to church again and ALL they talked about was sacrificial giving for a new church building.Again, and again that is where churches are. We live on desert and most churches we have visited are about that. We have been attending one that does not inspire, talk to my mind OR my spirit or anything (just for me) but, we go to be obedient. Thanks for sharing. It gave me strength to say out loud what I believe. Yes, some of these tv talkers have given us a different viewpoint of scripture that we have explored and it was GOOD instead of bad that we were taught when we were young...but, the overall message is to appeal to our "desires" so we will "feed their desires" for MORE.Thanks. Don't know about you, but obviously, you are working out your salvation with God. I found your site looking up Wommack, thinking because he is soft-spoken that he might be real...... obviously, I have been desperately seeking God also in people, that is why He made people, not just one person, for us to help one another and to obey Him.(We have "perfect" Christians across the street. They wouldn't USE the word perfect, but their attitude, stance is "look at us". They have not been friendly, kind or, other than she has a big Bible study in her home where she is THE leader that she simply "would NOT give up" when they could not have more power in the large church they attended, they changed churches and took some folks with em so they could DO what they wanted.This was why I left in first place. In the years since, tho' I learned we each have free will and God isn't making the choices for us. He is just letting us know how He wants us to behave and NONE of us is perfect. Thanks again. j. 
