I need to know, what church do we go to if we can't find one practicing the complete truth? Do we not go at all? I am desperately trying to figure some things out here and I really don't know who to talk to.
I know I need to seek God in this and I am and I am finding the truth as I seek it, but I am not able to talk to anyone in the church that LOVES our church SOOOO MUCH.
I really feel duped by every church I've ever been to and I feel rather stupid which I don't care about that but I hate it that I have been guilty of telling others the same. And I have just wanted to cry all the time, maybe part of that being set free to the truth and part of it a shamefulness in front of God and part of it is Scarey.
AND at the same time I'm praying for protection in being deceived by anything you say. So what do I do now? Last night I had a horrible nightmare involving demons and I don't know if it was an attack from the enemy or something God was trying to show me, but in the dream it was so real because I knew I was in my bed sleeping and I was awakened by these demons that I actually never saw, it was the precence I felt and I started being picked up and tossed around the bedroom. I was so scared when I woke up that my husband complained this morning that I crowded him in bed all night.
I'm deeply confused.
Desperately seeking answers, K.
***
Thank you so much for your reply it was very helpful. I appreciate your prayer also and have included you in my prayers as well. I have to tell you that since I found your site and started reading your book I can not believe how much my eyes have been opened. I am a skeptic anyways so have always questioned alot (and still am).
I guess to see someone else question the same
things that I have made me really dig in the Word to find out.
The attacks from the enemy have diffinitely been felt. But the reality of God and drawing closer to Him has also been felt and that outways the attacks. I know God wants me to know the truth and for me to draw closer to Him and I know He is wlth me through anything I'm going through or too. So I will be just fine, and my family!
I'm just about done with the book Deceiving the Electand I am enjoying it very much! When I finish it I will let you know, and will probably have a few questions. I do now but need to finish it first to see if those questioned might already be answered.
Thank you and God Bless in what you're doing!
K.
***
My husband and children have always called me to be a big skeptic,they tell me to just leave it alone. Now they have seen so many things I've questioned turn out to be exactly what I thought it was that it's funny to see the way over the last few years that they pay attention when I question something, so much so now that it makes them mad when I question something that they don't want to not be the way it seems.
Not because they're mad at me but because they're scared that there is a good chance I'm right. Kinda makes me laugh when they do that. I'm really not a "know-it-all," in fact I have been hurt plenty of times from poor judgment. My husband thinks I have alot of wisdom
or a gift of discernment. But he also says to me: "Ya know for someone with so much wisdom you can turn around and do the dumbest stuff."
Ya know all my life though I've always wondered it can't be that I'm the only one here that knows this I just think so many people don't question anything, don't want to know or don't want to rock the boat so to speak. But me, I want to know the truth even if I know I'm not going to follow it.
My discernment has always been pretty good but in the past 4 or 5 years I find myself picking up on things in
complete strangers out in public for instance one time in a McDonalds I walked past a guy with his 2 daughters and the hair on the back of my neck rose up and I just knew that I knew he was molesting those 2 girls and I just started praying for those girls and the man right there (silently) that God would protect those girls and that that man would be exposed and those girls would
be taken away from him.
My husband says: "I wish I had the kind of wisdom you have," sometimes and I've told him: "Ya know what, sometimes I wish I didn't know some of the stuff I know, sometimes I think it would be so nice to live in a
la-di-da-oh-well-who-cares-I-know-I-sure-don't world."
Sometimes I wish I didn't have certain feelings stir up on certain people put in the path of my life that I spend months sometimes before I figure it out what it is that's not quite right with this person. Sometimes I wish I would just say I don't know and I don't care!
But the bottom line is I have to know truth. What I have came to terms with though is I'm not always going to know what's wrong with the person but that there is a reason God showed me something about that person
and it is so I will just pray for them.
A couple years ago our church took on a new assistant pastor, from the day I met that man I told my husband there is something very wrong with him and I don't know what it is but it's not good; he's here to hurt us, not help us.
I tried and tried to figure it out while everyone in our church just loved him, never did anyone have anything to say that wasn't wonderful about this man and I have learned to keep my mouth shut and not go telling everyone my thoughts (boy did that take some years to
learn!). But I stuck with the way I felt and shared it with only my husband and just prayed that whatever it was that God would expose this man to our pastor.
I also asked God to show me what it was and He never did. Within a year a letter was sent to all the church that he was leaving on his own will. I talked to our pastor later about it and he shared with me that within 3
months of the assistant pastor coming to our church he knew it was a big mistake and it was not going well, he was an assistant pastor that was used to being head pastor therefore wanted to run the show and bucking heads big time with the head pastor and really nothing more than that "Not that there was anything wrong with him and he left with our love on a good note." But when he left he took part of the church with him (sound familiar? And no he wasn't head of music!).
He also has bad-mouthed our pastor to several people along with those that left with him. Good news is he didn't take a third of the church with him...it was really only 3 or 4 people but he's probably not done trying.
I like our church though because they believe in all the gifts including tongues but they don't try to force the hand of God every Sunday morn by having a message in tongues, a few slayings peppered with a prophesy on how everyone in the church is just tinkering on the edge of becoming rich and then everyone lays on the floor laughing shaking and twitching for awhile to only
gather in the foyer afterwards talking about how the pastor really got the spirit moving this morning with an all knowing sense that we were so much better then any other church in town...
...in fact it is very rare that any of those things appear in our church. In fact I think our pastor is really concentrating on growing our church up and maturing them before they even think about practicing any of these gifts. Which I know he has a real job on his hands
with so many people chomping at the bit to "Let's get this spirit moving and a rock'n" kind of atttitude and he has a lot of leaders and strong-willed people in his congregation.
Still, even in the church that I found to be so inline in
so many ways with God's Word and the handling of how we use the gifts God gives us, it saddens me deeply to say in the past year there is some real questioning going on in me on some of the things I'm seeing take place in our church that are so subtle now but look to be quite scary on where they could go. I told my husband the other day I'm starting to see that our church has
become a congregation full of people that remind me of a bunch of race horses in the gate just waiting for the gun to go off so we can see who makes it to the finish line first by becoming incredibly wealthy or receiving a spot on the praise and worship team or who finishes with the best stories to tell on how they had the coolest experience with God last week in a maximum security
prison they ministered in with rapists, murderers and child molesters that hugged them a bit too long while telling them their wonderful experience of finding the Lord, and foster parents that can tell you how you should do it because it's so rewarding! Not mentioning that it might just change the child's life unless that child's life was changed all because of you!
And so then Mary does it because Sarah did it and it was so rewarding and now Marys having a heck of a time getting these no-good ungrateful brats to appreciate what she's doing for them and grandma Elsi is just not feeling the uncomfortable hugs from the prisoners very rewarding and doesn't understand what's wrong with her cause it has to be her because Debbie sad there's just no other feeling in the world like it and I'm not sure if Bob is upset with God or the pastor for not putting him on the drums in church because he's a darn good drum player!
While it seems none of these people are taking the time to stop and ask God where He might want them and then giving God the Glory for every cotton piece
of breath in their body let alone whatever gift they might have in them!
But ya know with all that being said the one good thing that comes from seeing these things transpire is it makes me stop and ask God "OK God where am I doing
these things, show me the error of my ways. Oh! and please don't send me to the prisons!"
By the way the lady that is a foster parent, lost her first son in her first marriage and has sent her other two sons to there aunts 25 miles away so they can go to school in that town, but she now is being rewarded with
foster children! HUH? She also is one of the few that followed the assistant pastor out of the church along with a few others who have all together been joyfully church hopping through all the churches in town for the past 8
months. Also half the people in our church seem to enjoy almost brag about their past life of drugs and alcohol that has all changed now since finding the Lord and I for one think they only found another addiction, and not to His
will or knowing the truth about what God says but an addiction to the frills and manipulation they found all with a good conscience cause as long as you INCORPORATE the word "GOD" in your life it's all good baby!
I for one am tired of seeing people INCORPORATE God into their live's instead of changing their lives for God. And one more thing I'm so tired of hearing people say "Well I think" when I just want to scream "Well guess what?! It ain't about what you think! It's about what God thinks! And going to Bible studies where we never
crack a bible and everyone just sits around and says what they think, like talking about what everyone thinks might draw us a little closer to the Truth!
I did a bible study last spring on "Believing God" but it fizzled out on anyone coming because actually looking at the truth and even thinking that it is the same today in our high technology just doesn't work cause God wouldn't expect the same out of us in the pressures we're under. I think if somebody wrote a new Bible with Jesus on the cover with a joint hanging out of His mouth in an
(armonti?) suit at a computer handing out condoms to school age (elementary in fact) children with the title "Today's Bible" on it, it would sell like hot cakes
and they could single handedly save the world!
And That's Just Sad.
Well, sorry I babbled on so long and well I have a Bible to write -- Joyce was right, I'm gonna be RICH!
Totally joking! (Sad thing is, wouldn't want to give too many Christains that idea cause if there was a buck to be made in it they might really do it, most of them would sell their soul for just a short time of pleasure here on earth when they can't even imagine or really look forward to the eternity Jesus has in store for us! I look forward to it!)
Your book, when Stacey goes to the inner city to the hidden place it really made me think of what Heaven will be like, it was a joy for me to read and all the time reading and enjoying it I was thinking how this can't even compare to heaven.
How Exciting to know that we have a Savior that loves us so much to do what He did for us and on top of that have so much more waiting for us! It's gonna be one
fantastic day with unspeakable joy when we see Jesus!
Thank you! You have touched my life in a very pleasant way.
God Bless and Goodnight, K.
***
Wanted to let you know I finished your book last night and was disappointed to see the next book is not available till summer of 2006, but I guess I can wait. I really enjoyed it and am wanting to know more about the dreamer. I am hoping that he will wake up in the next book. The tornado dreams were interesting to me because about a week before I got the book I had a very
scary dream involving several tornadoes coming at our house all at once. Maybe something I ate before bed?
I am so excited through reading your book and your site, that there is so much in there that I have questioned myself that alot of people won't talk to me about. My family is coming today for Christmas though and I do have one brother that thinks a lot like me and so we have really good and deep discussions that everyone else leaves the room short into. We have to be careful what we say. My brother does start to raise his voice and talk with a tone that implies that your stupid if you believe a certain way or can't see something that is so obvious!" I think he has gotten better at not doing that but it is a struggle for him.
Well I'm off to finish a batch of cookies before everyone arrives, but I wanted to tell you that I finished the book and can't wait till the next one! I'm praying for you that God will continue to guide you in what you are doing and give you lots of wisdom, knowledge and strength! I for one find alot of refreshment in what you have to say. Keep doing what your doing only even
better as God continues to grow you and mature you in His ways.
God Bless you and your family this Christmas and in the New year, K.
***
About your dreams, I find that really interesting. Are you thinking that there will be a mock rapture? One that will take place like the one in your dream?
After finding your web-site my family have been looking at the scriptures to find out how the Lord will come and if there really is a rapture. My husband at first said "well does it really matter as long as we're close to God and ready when He comes?" and I said to him "Yes but what if satan performed some kind of mock rapture himself, how could that deceive even the christains and possibly detour them from their faith."
Do you actually think satan could take christains and non-christains to a place like in your dreams? Did you have dreams like the dreamer in your book about all the
different body parts of a beast just getting ready to come together at the right time?
By the way in our study we have come to the conclusion that there is no rapture, at least not like we have been taught growing up. One where God will remove us before or in mid of tribulation.
Nor do we really know how long tribulation really is. Now if they want to call it a rapture when Christ does descend on the clouds to receive us up in the air with Him I guess they could do that.
What we're trying to figure out now is what happens from that point. It is really neat though how when you start to search out the truth God WILL show you! Well gotta go, God Bless and Goodbye!
K.
***
About the mock rapture, I actually do think it is very possible also. I guess mostly I think we need to be aware that anything could happen and be in the word knowing the truth and having our eyes wide open. I also had to throw a lot of my beliefs out the window when I got serious about knowing the truth from God.
In fact I'm still throwing stuff out the window, and still searching the truth. But I can tell that since I really started searching the truth and really throwing out the religion I have been taught it has been absolutely the best feeling I've ever experienced! It is a feeling of being set free and the Bible says The Truth Will Set You Free!
I also don't think it a coincidence meeting you and finding your web site. I could sit and e-mail you back and forth all day, that part is fun, but being around people that live for the world on a daily bases, that is the part that is not so fun always.
Sometimes a part of me doesn't want to be around them and sometimes a part of me feels like I'm where I'm supposed to be at the time. When you're talking to people that think porn is ok and that desperate house wives (the show) sleeping with high school boys is ok "Let them have there fun" is what they say, I walk away feeling exhausted. Often times I don't even know where to start or feel like I should explain anything, that it's not even going to get through to them. That I would be throwing my pearls to the swine. But it always breaks my heart. It always makes me want to cry for them. And these people I'm talking about are divorced and have children on drugs, alcohol or in prison anyways with alot of problems and they dont seem to ever stop and think that maybe they should try something different.
The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same
things expecting a different result. And there are a lot of insane people out there. But I have (to avoid exhaustion) spent alot more time praying for people and have become more of a person of few words. Which is where I think God is leading me anyways. I'm learning there is much more power in my prayers than in my words. But for me life is good.
Even with the problems we encounter (sometimes daily). It is still so good! I thank God for who He is and that He is in control, and I'm thankful to be blessed with such a wonderful husband and kids and that we've made it through hard times in our marriage and didn't give up and that we don't deal with alot of problems with our kids. I just wish that everyone could experience that.
But there is a price to have all that and if I chose to give in to every temptation that came along I wouldn't have these things.
God Bless You and Your Family!
K.
