(Woman, seated at desk, in front of computer terminal, she's typing away, while at the same time holding a telephone between her shoulder and ear, attempting to work and complain all at the same time -- it is evident that she is very upset)
WORD PROCESSOR:
(speaking into phone, near tears) YES, Margaret, I already TRIED that. I've hinted to him, sent him e-mail, shot a memo his way, left voice mail and even tried calling in SICK.
I'm telling ya, this guy is a TYRANT. Do you realize I worked SIXTY-FOUR HOURS just last week alone?
And last night he had me here until MIDNIGHT. (listening) Uh-uh. Oh yeah. (listening) Uh-huh. NOW THAT MIGHT WORK! But of course, if I kidnap his poodle, he'll be so depressed he'll probably bury himself in work to forget his troubles, and then guess who gets to be here all that glorious extra time?
This morning he called at FIVE A.M. to ask me if I could make it in by SEVEN! Do you realize that I only got about four hours of sleep?
Ugghhhhh. Let me tell ya, I don't think I can last much longer with this workaholic! Just today I've already input seven pages of data, finished that spreadsheet he demanded last week, cancelled two of his appointments and then rescheduled them for next week, ordered flowers for his wife for Valentine's Day on Sunday, and phoned in his catering order for some stupid luncheon he's giving for a whole bunch of prospective clients -- and I guarantee you ANYTHING that before an hour's up he'll be in here to have me cancel THAT order and call up ANOTHER caterer to redo the order all over again but only this time Mexican instead of Italian!
(listening, still typing away) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Hear that tapping? (types even faster for a few moments) No, that's not me tap-dancing for joy . . . that's my poor bony fingers getting worn down to the nibs.
(suddenly looks at watch) OH NO! I forgot about sending out that memo to all the directors. Oh great! He asked me to do that yesterday, and I had so many things going I completely forgot about it. I'm going to have to say good-bye, Margaret.
Yeah, well THANKS. You've been great, listening to me wailing and moaning for the last hour! Yeah, I sure am. In fact, if you don't hear from me in the next two days, stop by this office and throw a lifesaver into the pool around my desk. Yeah. Yeah. Oh Yeah. You guessed, it, that'll be me already drowned in a pool of my own salty tears!
Margaret? Don't take this the wrong way, but do you think you could pray for me? Yeah, I'd really appreciate it. I need all the strength I can get. And I'm not sure there's much more to get. I'm on coffee and No-Doze as it is. Yeah, just pray that God will give me more energy, and a better boss.
And if not that, then maybe a quick and painless brain embolism . . . yeah, I think I could go that route, but hopefully while the Ogre is standing over me, handing me bigger and bigger piles of busywork to do! Can you picture it? My head suddenly exploding! Ticker-tape brains floating down around him! Oh, you guessed it! The first thing out of his mouth would be: "That reminds me, Karen, schedule me some reservations up at Aspen before all the snow melts!"
Okay, honey. Thanks. For your ear, and for the prayer. Oh yeah, and before I forget, how's your life? Uh-huh. Great. Okay. Bye-bye.
(hangs up phone and massages neck, pushes back in chair and yawns extravagantly)
Maybe a couple of Zzzz wouldn't hurt. (looks around guiltily, then slowly settles back into chair, resting her head upon the back of the chair, and slowly drifts asleep)
THE BIG BOSS:
Yo! Karen! I just got in some hot data!
WORD PROCESSOR:
(leaps awake with huge staring-glaring-revolving eyes, and immediately attacks the keyboard, going 250 words per minute) Just about finished, Mr. Misery -- er, I mean Mr. Miserly! OH! I meant Mr. Mallory!
THE BIG BOSS:
Oh, so you're making fun of the Boss's name, ayyyy?
WORD PROCESSOR:
No, Mr. Mallory. Not at all! I'm just a little (huge yawn) sleepy, that's all.
THE BIG BOSS:
Gooood. Gooood. (doing his best Edward G. Robinson) Cuz ya don't wanna be messin' wid the Biiiig Booossss, seeeeee?
WORD PROCESSOR:
No Sir! Mr. Mallory! No Sir!
THE BIG BOSS:
I was just funning with ya, Karen! (grossly exhuberant belly laugh, haaaaa haaaaa HAAAA! and he smacks her on the back) You're a good girl. Now get back to work! If you're lucky, maybe I'll let ya go early tonight . . . hmmm, like maybe 11:30 instead of midnight! (very irritating but good-natured guffaw: haaaa haaaa HAAAA!)
(he exits, still booming laughter)
WORD PROCESSOR:
(her fingers slowly wind down, she stares at her computer screen glumly, slumping, slumping, until her face is nearly on the keyboard -- she suddenly jerks awake as her nose punches a key -- and then she glares at the huge pile of work the Big Boss dumped on her -- it all looks hopeless!)
I QUIT!
(she glares about, daring anyone to say anything, then she closes her eyes and begins to pray out loud)
Oh God! You have to help me. I can't go on like this. It's just too much. I'm overworked, and not appreciated.
THE BIG BOSS:
(the Big Boss enters here and is about to speak, then realizes that she's praying, he halts, listening, feeling more and more guilty)
WORD PROCESSOR:
You can't want me to live like this! Please! Open the right door for me, and close the wrong doors. Get me out of this place, God, like you got Joseph out of prison, Moses out of Egypt, and Jonah out of that whale. I can't stand this place, and I can't stand my boss.
I know exactly what Elijah meant when he screamed out: "I wish I'd never been born!" But please, I'm in such a bad mood right now that if you sent ravens to feed me, I'd probably end up dropping a book on those poor birds. In fact, probably the dictionary. I'm talking about the UNABRIDGED dictionary!
THE BIG BOSS:
(the Big Boss exits, scratching his head, looking very troubled)
WORD PROCESSOR:
But Lord, I need strength, and energy, and more than that: SLEEP! Please help me, God! In the Name of Jesus, I pray, Amen.
(she looks at the great stack of work and sighs)
OH WELL. I might as well try and clear one or two of these before my head explodes!
(she begins typing in blurred speed, and takes the top file off and set it on the other side, and then blurring even faster, like a cartoon on too much coffee, she moves faster, and faster, and faster, quickly shifting the files from one side to the other -- she's moving like an insane Beethoven playing the greasiest piano in world, faster and faster and faster -- within moments the entire stack has been cleared)
Whew! I can't believe I finished the whole stack!
(she sits back, panting and deep breathing -- she looks at her watch)
WOW! Four hours flew by, just like that! And I never went to the ladies room even once!
(she prays again)
Thank you Lord. I know I couldn't have done this without you answering my prayer! When I thought I was completely out of energy, you dumped in a whole can of liquid adrenaline, right in the hole on the top of my head!
(the Big Boss shows up again, only this time he is cowed, humble, bearing flowers, a white BONUS envelope, and a box of chocolates --eavesdropping on his employee's prayer again)
I'm sorry for being so blustery, so depressed, and so completely pooped. I realize it's partly because I don't take care of myself like I should. And I guess I could say "NO" to bugs once in a while, especially big bugs like Mr. Mallory. But bless him, Lord, because aside from work, he sure doesn't have much nice in his life, I can tell you that!
(the Big Boss nods his head sadly)
Thank you for all the blessings you give to me, Lord. Thank you for this job. In the Name of my Savior, Jesus, I pray, Amen.
(she opens her eyes and is startled to see the Big Boss -- she reacts dramatically, leaping up in her chair and screaming -- the Big Boss is so startled he leaps back a good five feet!)
THE BIG BOSS:
I'm sorry, Karen! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!
WORD PROCESSOR:
Mr. Mallory, I thought I was alone! I sure hope you didn't hear any of that!
THE BIG BOSS:
No, you're not alone, Karen. In fact, I wanted to apologize. You've done such wonderful work the last few months, and I guess I just haven't really appreciated you as much as I should.
WORD PROCESSOR:
(muttering under her breath) You can say that again!
THE BIG BOSS:
Er, what was that, Karen?
WORD PROCESSOR:
Oh, I said "I'm not one to COMPLAIN!"
THE BIG BOSS:
No, you're certainly not. Well I just want to tell you that things are going to change around here. In fact, I'm going to work on getting a real life. Spend more time with my family. I want to thank you, Karen, you've opened my eyes. This is for you!
(he gives her the flowers -- she smells them, delighted)
And these chocolates, too! And we're going to start working some more human hours around here too. I can promise you that.
(she take the chocolates, but her eyes are fastened upon the envelope)
I guess you're wondering about this envelope?
WORD PROCESSOR:
(coyly) Oh no, not really.
THE BIG BOSS:
(after a long pause) Well this is the renewal to my subscription of "Better Management, Better Managers." Do you think you could mail this for me, on the way home?
WORD PROCESSOR:
(a little crestfallen as she accepts the envelop from him) Oh, sure Mr. Mallory.
THE BIG BOSS:
(bending forward, eyes twinkling) What's the matter, Karen? Don't you know when your old geezer of a boss is joking? (haaaa haaaa HAAAAA!) That's a BONUS for you, for all your hard work!
WORD PROCESSOR:
(in a daze she opens the envelope and her eyes glaze, she closes the envelope) Wow! (she peeks again after a moment) WOW!
THE BIG BOSS:
Well, you enjoy that. You earned it. And we'll see about maybe having a few more of those bonuses once in a while, a couple of times a year.
WORD PROCESSOR:
(still staring into envelope) WOOOOWWWW!
THE BIG BOSS:
Come on, Karen. I'll walk you downstairs. I want you to take tomorrow off, as well as the weekend, and I'll see you about a half-hour late on Monday.
WORD PROCESSOR:
(she glances up to heaven) THANK YOU! (she mouths silently, exaggeratedly)
THE BIG BOSS:
(he glances up to heaven) THANK YOU! (he mouths silently, exaggeratedly)
(and they stroll together from the office, arm-in-arm)
__________________________________________
Completely free Christian scripts, sketches, mimes.
Always a parable. Storytelling making the difference.
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