(President sits at table going over records, then job candidate approaches and coughs to get the president's attention)
PRESIDENT:
(looking up) Oh! Why you must be the candidate for Executive Assistant!
JOB CANDIDATE:
(smiling, charming) Why yes, that's me! (hands over resume) Those are all my qualifications. I think you'll find me very qualified.
PRESIDENT:
(briefly studying resume) Mmmmm. Why yes. Everything seems to be in order here. Yes! Very good. Hmmmm. MOST EXCELLENT.
JOB CANDIDATE:
Yes! Well thank you. I'll tell ya, Mr. President. I've worked very hard at perfecting all my skills. I think I've got this job down pat, and you really don't need to look ANY further.
PRESIDENT:
(still glancing briefly at resume) Well I'll tell ya, kiddo, I like your attitude. Yes I do. But we've got a little system here. Here's the deal: if the Vice President likes you, you gotta da jobba, capiche?
JOB CANDIDATE:
(looking overjoyed) Hey, that's great! Thank you so much!
PRESIDENT:
No problemo. We can use your stuff around here, kiddo. Now I'd like you to stand out here and receive some guests. Just let them know that you're the Executive Assistant to the Vice President, and let'em know that the VP will be here soon, and that they'll have their personal audience with the VP as soon as He arrives. Just have them wait patiently in the antechamber. Okay! Got all that? (begins to go back to table and records)
JOB CANDIDATE:
(looking sharp, all ready to get'em!) Yes SIR! (then, as President begins to exit) Uh, but one thing, Sir!
PRESIDENT:
(looking back over shoulder from record table) Yes, kiddo? What is it?
JOB CANDIDATE:
Can you tell me what the VP likes? I mean, is there any way to get on His good side?
PRESIDENT:
(winking) Nope! Take it from me, Son! You're in the clear! The VP already loves you, I'm positive. You just believe in that, and you're in pure and simple!
JOB CANDIDATE:
(looking relieved, but still a little troubled) Okay. Um. Great. Uh, but Sir?
PRESIDENT:
Yes?
JOB CANDIDATE:
I mean, um, uh, er, well, is there anything I can do to make the VP happy?
PRESIDENT:
(considering for a moment) Oh, I see what ya mean! Want to get in good right at the start with the new boss, ay?
JOB CANDIDATE:
That's it, Sir!
PRESIDENT:
Well, the VPs very honest, and I know He appreciates the same in His employees. And He LOVES a great attitude, and hard work. But you just stay focused on the VP, and you'll do great! (finally returns to records)
JOB CANDIDATE:
Got it, and thank you, Sir.
DYNAMIC DIGNITARY:
(approaching, all smiles and greasy fawning) Why hello there! You wonderful, wonderful Vice President, you!
JOB CANDIDATE:
(a little startled) Huh? Oh NO! No, you see, I'm not the VP -- Vice President -- no, I'm His Executive Assistant.
DYNAMIC DIGNITARY:
(instantly drops smiles) Oh. The secretary, hmm? Well I need to see the VP, and pronto, Goofy! (snaps fingers) Come on, you lazy thing. I NEED TO SEE THE VP!
JOB CANDIDATE:
(upset) I'm so sorry -- the Vice President will be here soon, and will see you as soon as He gets in. Please, you're going to have to wait in the antechamber.
DYNAMIC DIGNITARY:
Well! I've never been treated with such insolence! Your boss is going to hear about THIS, I can promise you, peon! (exits, agitated, shaking head)
JOB CANDIDATE:
Oh man! What kind of job is this, anyway?
ILLUSTRIOUS INGRATE:
(approaching, on the run) Your Excellency! Mr. Vice President! I am so happy to finally meet you, Sir! (bowing, bowing many times)
JOB CANDIDATE:
(really confused, doesn't want to get same reaction as last time) Um -- uh, yeah. Good to meet you. (hesitantly) Um, do you think you could wait in the antechamber?
ILLUSTRIOUS INGRATE:
(still bowing) Oh but good Sir! We are here! I MUST present my case to you...
JOB CANDIDATE:
(even more hesitant, hating to admit it) Um, see, like, um, I'm the -- Vice Presidential -- Assistant...
ILLUSTRIOUS INGRATE:
(stuck in mid-bow) WHAT! What kind of fraud are you! I am going to report you, trickster! Slob! NUTCASE! (exits angrily) What kind of lying hired help are they getting these days...
JOB CANDIDATE:
(rubbing back of neck) Oh. I'm getting a head ache. This job is just too much...
PSYCHOTIC SYCOPHANT:
(arriving with majesty) Greetings, Mr. Vice President! (bowing extravagantly)
JOB CANDIDATE:
(unnerved, but too afraid to cough up the truth) Um. Yeah. Uh-huh. Er, um. You see, you are going to have to wait in the antechamber, and then I will speak with you as soon as I'm free.
PSYCHOTIC SYCOPHANT:
(puts up hands to choke who he thinks is the VP) Why I oughta! Oh, I'm SORRY, Mr. Vice President! I will wait for your kindness (begins to retreat, bowing) and with all humility I look forward to talking serious matters with you very soon...
JOB CANDIDATE:
(delighted) Hey! Now THAT wasn't so bad!
SOULFUL SEEKER:
(enters hesitantly) Um, Mr. Vice President, Sir?
JOB CANDIDATE:
(sees new seeker and lights up like a bulb, smiling shiningly for new entrant) Oh! My good sir! Welcome, welcome to my place of hearing, please come forward and offer me your bows...
SOULFUL SEEKER:
(bowing with great humility) Oh Sir, thank you! Thank you so much for allowing me to speak to you!
JOB CANDIDATE:
No problem! Now tell me, what can the Great VP do for you?
PRESIDENT:
(looks up from His records and begins to listen to what's going on)
SOULFUL SEEKER:
Sir! I need your help! I have such a problem and only YOU can save me!
JOB CANDIDATE:
(putting arm about the other's shoulders) Now you just tell the VP your problems, and I'll see what I can do for you...
PRESIDENT:
(moves into action, first addresses Soulful Seeker) I'm sorry to interrupt, but could you wait for the Vice President in the antechamber?
SOULFUL SEEKER:
(nods head, and moves off, but first gives "VP" the "Thumbs Up") Thank you Gentlemen!
JOB CANDIDATE:
(swallows hard, face falls guiltily, stands in shame)
PRESIDENT:
(sternly) What DID you think you were doing?
JOB CANDIDATE:
I'm soooo sorry. I don't know what happened!
PRESIDENT:
Maybe you got a little confused. Did you think I was hiring you to be the Vice President?
JOB CANDIDATE:
Of course not, Sir! Really, I feel terrible. It just seemed like the easy thing to do, you know, to get around all the problems. Just kinda let them think that I was the VP...
PRESIDENT:
I hope you've learned your lesson!
JOB CANDIDATE:
(pleading) Please Sir, don't FIRE me! I'll make it right, I promise. I'll do better, but please give me another chance!
PRESIDENT:
(putting arm about Job Candidate) OF COURSE I'M NOT GOING TO FIRE YOU. You've got this job locked in -- that is, if you want it.
JOB CANDIDATE:
I DO, I DO WANT THIS JOB!
PRESIDENT:
Well okay then! I've already talked to the VP and He's crazy about you! But just stick with the job you've got, okay?
JOB CANDIDATE:
You've got THAT right!
PRESIDENT:
GREAT. Now let's go to the antechamber and get this, um, "CONFUSION" cleared up, okay?
__________________________________________
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Always a parable. Storytelling making the difference.
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