(a scholar enters, lugging a ton of books — harried, nervous, ready to study all night, memorize and cram)
MAD SCHOLAR:
(almost dropping books) Great, great — yes, wonderful, wonderful! (drops a few books halfway to the front) Wait-wait-wait (rapid-fire speech) are these books I need to memorize? Or just refer to? (gathering up books) Oh well, I’ll just memorize them all! (laughing insanely, heading for front) Yes-yes-yes I’ll memorize all-all-all the books in the world! Me, the super scholar!
(gets to front, dumps all the books, then sits on the floor, picks up the biggest book, a gigantic dictionary)
(laughing insanely) Now THIS is important. All the knowledge of language is buried here! Think of all that treasure! (goes to first page, fingers down the page muttering and humming)
Hmmmm! Yes! A-A-L — a plant of the GENUS MORINDA! Ahh yes! Commonly known at the Indian Mulberry! (puts fingers to brow, closes eyes and concentrates hard) Yes! YES! AAL — Indian Mulberry!
(jumps up, charges insanely at audience) I’m going to study night and day! (charges toward another part of the audience) I’m going to learn and learn and learn! (paces) I’m going to memorize and learn and study until I have gained such knowledge that every university in the world will want me! I will gain access to the greatest libraries on the face of the earth!
Me! Study!! ME!! Learn!! MMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! The Super Scholar!!!!! (ends with long passionate insane rolling peal of laughter)
WANDERING SCHOLAR:
(entering, dressed in sweater, hobbling on cane, peering over spectacles, concerned, rushing forward, in overblown British accent) ’Ere now! I say, what is the problem, what? Whattaya makin’ all this racket about? This is no place to be makin’ such a fuss, what?
MAD SCHOLAR:
I’m sorry! But I don’t have time for such amenities! (rushes back to pile of books, starts picking up and dropping them, scrambling through the pages, muttering and laughing) I have to study! Study, yes, study…
WANDERING SCHOLAR:
So yer a scholar, I see… Hmmmm. But young lady, what is yer purpose? Why are you studying?
MAD SCHOLAR:
(looking up) Why? WHYYYYYY! Because it is my duty to study! I will become the greatest scholar the world has ever known! But I don’t have time to talk to you! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY! (goes back to books)
WANDERING SCHOLAR:
Well it simply can’t be as bad as all that, now can it? (musing to self) Hmmmm. The poor lass is simply mad. Poor little thing. Why, she doesn’t even recognize me. Imagine that!
MAD SCHOLAR:
(pouring through books) Could you stop babbling? I’m BUSY here! I have to study! I have to learn! I have to memorize!
WANDERING SCHOLAR:
(kindly) Come on, now, lassie? Come wi' me. We’ll go have a nice cuppa tea. Doesn’t that sound lovely? You can have a cookie if you’d like, or a delicious cupcake. We’ll talk, you and me. What do you think of that?
MAD SCHOLAR:
What do I think of that? I think you’re crazy! I don’t have time for you. Get it? (lifts up watch, knocks on it, holds to ear to see if it’s working) No time! No time! No Tango Tiempo pahda ti! Capiche? I ain’t got time for you! (returns to books)
WANDERING SCHOLAR:
But see here, my poor young friend. I want to help you. I CAN help you, you know? Do you know who I am?
MAD SCHOLAR:
(without looking up) I don’t CARE who you are!
WANDERING SCHOLAR:
But I can help you! I want to help you, dear. I admire your spunk, your determination. But you’re going about it all in the wrong way, don’t you see.
MAD SCHOLAR:
LOOK! I want access to the greatest libraries of the world! I need to associate with the greatest minds. It is my duty to study, and study hard. If I don’t study I’ll never make it into those wonderful libraries…
WANDERING SCHOLAR:
But see here, Love. You’re going about it in all the wrong way, is what I’ve been trying to tell you! You’ve made the act of studying into a kind of grim impossibility! It can only drive you completely insane. Studying should be done out of love, and love should come from studying. You need to sit back, relax, take a deep breath, smell the roses in the garden. Come with me, what say? For that tea? And you and I shall get to know each other. And, if you’d like, we’ll study together. And I will take you to all those libraries of the world. I have access, you know. I'll take you. Come on now, Love.
MAD SCHOLAR:
You! Now I know you’re crazy. I don’t have time for crazy people.
WANDERING SCHOLAR:
But see here. I OWN all the libraries of the world. And I promise I’ll take you to any library you want to visit. I’ll teach you, everything you want to know — everything that I know. (putting out a hand) Come with me, please… We'll see to this, together, you and me, now, come?
MAD SCHOLAR:
(sneers at hand) Look, I told you once, and I promise I won’t tell you again: I don’t have time for crazy people.
WANDERING SCHOLAR:
I came here just now to find you. I have good news for you, Love. I want to help you. I want to adopt you as my own daughter. I want to give you everything to make you happy! I want you to live with me, and my whole family, and I want to open doors of opportunity that you can’t even dream of…
MAD SCHOLAR:
(jumps up, starts at Wandering Scholar threateningly) I don’t want your help! Don’t you understand. I WANT TO DO THIS! ME! I want to accomplish this! ME! I don’t want your help or anyone’s help!
WANDERING SCHOLAR:
(pleading) Please, I have such gifts to give you…
MAD SCHOLAR:
(jabbing him in the chest with finger) You want to give me gifts? I DON’T WANT GIFTS!
WANDERING SCHOLAR:
Please, if you want to study — I AM THE WAY to your studies — I AM THE WAY to your happiness…
MAD SCHOLAR:
(grabbing him by the sweater, shaking his frail old body) ME, I AM A SCHOLAR! I know what I want, and I know HOW to get it, and I’m going to earn it, you see? I’m going to earn it! Because that’s the only way it’s going to be WORTH anything! I'm memorizing EVERYthing, do you hear me you crazy old geezer?!
WANDERING SCHOLAR:
(pleading) Please, I promise it will be worth something. It will be worth EVERYTHING. I’ll give my very blood to make it worth something! Come with me, it’s the only way!
MAD SCHOLAR:
You insane old fool! I warned you. (seizes him by throat and begins choking him) You’re not going to get in my way! I KNOW the way! It’s by study, and hard work, HARD WORK! (keeps choking him, and he’s dying in her hands — getting weaker) I’m going to do it, I’m going to accomplish it, and you’re not going to stop me!
(slowly lowers his dead body to ground)
(grabs up a book) I’ll show them! I know what I’m doing! I’ll study! I’ll study! (begins to exit) I won’t fill my mind with worldly trash, or fill my mind with worthless movies — I’ll study, and study, and study… (laughs insanely) (exits)
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Completely free Christian scripts, sketches, mimes.
Always a parable. Storytelling making the difference.
Soldier On. You were created on purpose.
You were created with a purpose, a mission.
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Art et Amour Toujours
