UNRESOLVED DRAMA -- It will be up to the sermon, or a talk afterward, to weigh the different meanings.
(COMEDY. southern-fried PATRON sitting at table reading Bible, WAITRESS approaches with menu)
WAITRESS:
(chewing gum) Need a menu, Honey?
PATRON:
(looking up, lifting Bible) Why no, Mam! This is all the menu I’ll ever need! As the Good Book says: All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness! You can find that in Second Timothy Three Sixteen.
WAITRESS:
(considering a moment, smacking her gum, thinking: “Oh boy, another nutcase!”) Whatever. Can I get ya a glass of water?
PATRON:
(getting a little excited) Water? Why, He gave me Living Water, so that I’ll never thirst again! That’s John Four Ten through Thirteen.
WAITRESS:
(a little miffed) REALLY. Did Bud get to you first? (looking behind, angry, hands on hips) That little squirt! Trying to still my tips again!
PATRON:
(a little confused) Bud? Why Sister: Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranates BUD forth: there will I give thee my loves. Song of Solomon Seven Twelve.
WAITRESS:
Vineyards? Oh well, THAT explains it. Buddy, we don’t serve no wine here — we ain’t got no liquor license.
PATRON:
Wine? Sister, the Wise Man said: “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.” I believe this wise counsel is to be found in Proverbs Twenty Verse One.
WAITRESS:
Great, ANOTHER wise guy. Brother, (throwing down menu on table) you better sing out your ORDER, and PRONTO, or I’m going to have Hugo toss you outta here!
PATRON:
Why Sister, I’m interested in what the Master said in John Six Thirty-Five: “I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.”
WAITRESS:
Bread of life, and then back to the living waters again! Good night! Sorry, Mack, but “Bread of Life” just ain’t on our menu!
PATRON:
Well, perhaps not on your menu, but DEFINITELY available to you! Why, John Six Forty-Eight says that Jesus IS the Bread of Life...
...and then along in Verse Fifty-One He promises: I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world!
Isn’t that just incredible? The life of the world! That includes you.
WAITRESS:
That’s it, I’m calling Hugo!
PATRON:
Wait — wait, uhm, Mam, I guess I’ll have a bowl of bean soup and a salad.
WAITRESS:
Well, that’s more like it! (writing order down) Now you seem like a sensible man, what in the world was all THAT about?
PATRON:
(sheepish) Well, actually — you see, my wife wants me to lose weight, and I’ve tried just about EVERYTHING, every diet and pill and delicious milkshake followed by a sensible meal and gym and — OH IT’S JUST CRAZY!
So finally, I thought I’d give the Word a try. My pastor told me I could overcome by the Word, and shoot, I was so desperate I’d give ANYTHING a shot.
WAITRESS:
(disbelieving, is this a joke?) Really. So how’d ya do?
PATRON:
Well, actually, in the last three weeks I’ve lost twenty pounds!
WAITRESS:
Really!
PATRON:
(rubbing backside) Of course, I’ve also been thrown out of about ten different restaurants in the last three weeks!
WAITRESS:
(shaking head, laughing, turning away) Imagine that. Christians. What nutcases!
(pauses, thinking)
PATRON:
(notices waitress standing there, and smiles) Yes, Mam, I did say TWENTY pounds!
WAITRESS:
(immediately spins around and sits down at table with PATRON) Okay, so maybe you should tell me more about this plan of overcoming by the Word!
__________________________________________
Completely free Christian scripts, sketches, mimes.
Always a parable. Storytelling making the difference.
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