(a group of people sit in a line of chairs, sitting side by side, waiting for life-giving instruction, fidgeting, some of them praying, the #1 Chair — the pastor — keeps rising and pacing)
PASTOR:
(pacing) Come on, come on! We need a Word from the Lord. We need guidance. (gesturing to the string of chairs) Our people here are perishing because we lack knowledge. God promised us He would give us wisdom and knowledge. Come on! Come on! We need a Word from the Lord.
PROPHET:
(entering from a hidden location, addressing the Pastor and the Church, the Pastor turns and listens, but the Church fidgets and wonders and chats without listening) Hear the Word of the Lord! The Number One Rule is: Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and soul, and mind, and heart, and strength and spirit! This Number One Rule contains the first four of the Great Ten Commandments, which are all about having and sustaining a relationship with the Lord Yahweh God Almighty —
PASTOR:
(interrupting the prophet, turning his backa lightbulb going off) THAT’S IT! We need to get back to basics! We can have a revival! I can have people make up banners proclaiming: Love the Lord! Keep His Sabbath! (goes to the #2 Chair) Are you paying attention?
ASSOCIATE PASTOR:
(coming alert with a start) Huh? Oh yeah, sure Pastor!
PROPHET:
(disbelieving this whole time since the pastor interrupted him, finally demands attention) Excuse me? Excuse me! HELLOOOOOO!?!
PASTOR:
Oh — uh, now what? Yes?
PROPHET:
I wasn’t finished here. This is the Word of the Lord!
PASTOR:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know exactly where you were going. And the second six of the Ten Commandments is covered by the Golden Rule, the Number Two Rule: Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself…
PROPHET:
Are you going to listen? Is what you say and think more important, or what the Almighty says to us?
PASTOR:
(pacing, addressing the audience) Hey listen, Prophet. All that time you spent chewing on honey, spitting out bees, eating grasshoppers or whatever you were doing, I was going to college, and to the seminary. You wouldn’t believe all the seminars I’ve attended.
PROPHET:
(commandingly) Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you! Love the Lord Yahweh God Almighty with all your heart, and how you do this is by loving your neighbor completely, as you love yourself. Hear the Word of the Lord! (turns and goes back into concealment)
PASTOR:
(going to Associate Pastor, Chair #2) Okay, get on it! The Law! Focus on the Law! (sits down and goes promptly to sleep)
ASSOCIATE PASTOR:
(coming alert) Uh, yeah. (turns to Chair #3 — Elder — thinking, scratching his head) Uh, yeah. Elder. Get some material out to the congregation. We need to focus on the Law… (promptly falls asleep)
ELDER:
(angry) Focus on the Law! That’s what I’ve always said! (turns to Chair #4 — Deacon — yells it) FOCUS ON THE LAW!
DEACON:
(startled) You’re always DOING THAT! Yelling in my ear. You are rude, and generally in the wrong. I just thought it was my Christian duty to share that with you!
ELDER:
(commandingly) Focus on the Law. Pass it on! (promptly falls asleep)
DEACON:
(miffed at Elder, turns to Chair #5 — Sabbath School Teacher) You know? We’re focusing too much on the Law. In fact, the Law is bad. It’s been holding us down. Spread the news. (promptly falls asleep)
SABBATH SCHOOL TEACHER:
(delighted with the news, throws up arms in joy) We’re not under the Law! Finally! We’ve escaped from prison! (throws up arms with hands raised) WE’RE NOT UNDER THE LAW! (turns to Chair #6 — Churchgoer) Spread the news, my good friend, “We are not under the Law!” (turns away from Chair #6 and rocks in chair with joy, smiling, periodically throwing up arms, continuously miming: “We’re Not Under the Law!”)
CHURCHGOER:
(turns to Chair #7 — Benchwarmer) Hey. (bored) We don’t have to do anything… (yawns and falls asleep)
BENCHWARMER:
(looks at Chair #8 — Worshipper), and then promptly falls asleep) SNOOOOOOOORE!
WORSHIPPER:
(looks over row of Chairs, all of them asleep except for Chair #5, who keeps raising the hands and silently shouting — and the Worshipper closes eyes, folds hands, and begins to pray fervently)
(everyone is asleep, except for Chair #5, praising, and Chair #8, praying)
PROPHET:
(emerges from hiding) Hear the Word of the Lord! Accept the Son! Be Filled with the Holy Spirit! Allow the Son to — (comically notices sleeping line of people, does a wide-eyed double-take) — JUST AS THE LORD DECLARED, THEY ARE ALL ASLEEP! (stands tall, commandingly) WAKE UP! WAKE UP! YOU LUKEWARM BAND OF NINCOMPOOPS!
(all chairs begin to stir, slowly, except for the Pastor, who leaps to feet)
PASTOR:
Ah yes! Just resting before the Great Revival! We’re ready! Yup-yuppers-yuppa-doo!
PROPHET:
Hear the Word of the Lord! THE TIME IS SHORT! Accept the Son! Be Filled with the Holy Spirit! Allow the Son to work through you. Release your will for His will. Pray that HIS will be — (interrupted again, finally after a few moments leaves in disgust)
PASTOR:
(turns back on Prophet, addresses Chair #2) Get busy! Up-up-UP! Come on you lazybones! The Law! Remember, the Law! Focus on God’s Law! Finish up with the work, brother, because the time is short! (exits hurriedly, mumbling: The Law! Oh Yes, The Law! The Golden Rule! The Ten Commandments! Oh Yes!)
ASSOCIATE PASTOR:
(yawning, getting slowly to feet, mumbles to Chair #3) Yeah. Uh-huh. Focus on the Law! (exits lazily behind the Pastor, shuffling, mumbling: “Focus on the Law! Focus on the Law!”)
ELDER:
(stretching, yawning, rising to feet, snaps nastily to Chair #4) If you know what’s good for you, pal, YOU BETTER FOCUS ON THE LAW! (stumbles out, sleepy but still angry, mumbling: “You wanna be saved, you better keep the law, that’s all I can tell you!”)
DEACON:
(rubbing eyes, miffed again at elder, gets up and mumbles to Chair #5) Remember, we’re not under the law! (goes out, rubbing eyes, mumbling: “That’ll teach that stinking legalist! We’re not under the law! Bunch of legalists…!”)
SABBATH SCHOOL TEACHER:
(even more delighted hearing the great news again) Oh boy! (turns to Chair #6) Hear that?! We’re Not Under the Law! We’re Not Under the Law! (exits hurriedly chanting the great news)
CHURCHGOER:
(yawning and stretching, but bored already) Great. We don’t have to do anything. (rises, elbows Chair #7) We don’t have to do anything. (exits, keeps repeating: “We don’t have to do anything…”)
BENCHWARMER:
(glances at Chair #8, shrugs, and exits)
WORSHIPPER:
(keeps praying fervently)
(long moment of silence)
PROPHET:
(emerging) Hear the Word of the Lord! (does wide-eyed double-take to see only one person in church, looks everywhere to see if there’s anyone else anywhere) Hmmmm. Excuse me? Excuse me!
WORSHIPPER:
(startled, opens eyes and looks at prophet) Oh! Yes?
PROPHET:
What in the world are you doing out here all alone?
WORSHIPPER:
Worshipping God.
PROPHET:
(approaching) Really? And how we’re you worshipping Him?
WORSHIPPER:
(humble) Talking to Him. Listening to Him…
PROPHET:
(nodding, thinking) Talking to Him. LISTENing to Him . . . (closes eyes for a second, then opens them, rolling them up to look at God) FINALLY! Somebody gets it! (takes Worshipper by the hand, they exit) Come on, I've got so much to tell you. One day they will worship Him in Spirit and in Truth…
__________________________________________
Completely free Christian scripts, sketches, mimes.
Always a parable. Storytelling making the difference.
Soldier On. You were created on purpose.
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