(woman enters flanked by two mysterious men in long black coats, sunglasses and hats, the two men are unseen to the woman, although at times it appears they are interacting)
Woman:
(looking troubled, crossing her arms, pacing nervously) The Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Two. (sarcastically) Wow. Oh boy. A new beginning.
Harasser #1:
(smuggly) I don't know what you think the problem is here. Looks like half the job is done already.
Harasser #2:
(cocky, but a little worried) Oh, I don't doubt we've got this one cinched, but still, she does have this annoying habit of...resisting.
Harasser #1:
(incredulous) Her? Resist. I doubt that. Watch, and learn. (moves up close to woman's ear and speaks with authority) That's right, a whole new year. How am I ever going to survive this one?
Woman:
(shaking head) Good night, a whole new year. How am I ever going to survive this one?
Harasser #1:
(pleased with himself, looking to #2) See? It's in the bag!
Harasser #2:
(defensive) Hey, I don't deny she's split down the middle, but she's still got that habit.
Harasser #1:
(turns to woman) New Year's resolutions. I gotta make some resolutions, so I can get things going RIGHT this year.
Woman:
(sighing) I guess I should make some resolutions, so I won't mess everything up again.
Harasser #2:
(warming up) Great! (slapping hands together) How about those extra pounds from the holidays? No! How about Ineed to lose twenty pounds this year, and keep it off!
Woman:
(rubbing her belly) Guess I outta do something about this holiday weight -- maybe 20 pounds, I should be able to hold that (doubtful), shouldn't I?
Harasser #1:
And less TV, definitely. You know you're a couch potato, you're never going to amount to anything unless you cut down on the boob tube -- maybe down to half hour a night? I can do that, sure I can!
Woman:
(doubtful) Um, Number Two. I'm going to cut down all the procrastination and get some real things done this year. No more TV, maybe half an hour a night, tops, I can do that, sure I can!
Harasser #2:
(getting into it) And I'm going to learn two new languages this year! I can do that!
Woman:
(distressed) Two new languages? I don't know.
Harasser #1:
I can do it! I can do it! I'm pretty worthless if I can't pick up at LEAST two new languages!
Woman:
(almost ready to cry) I guess I could pick up some computer software. Maybe Spanish, and French. What am I doing? I'm never going to be able to pull this off. I'm only going to mess up these resolutions -- no way am I ever going to follow through.
Harasser #2:
(baby wail) Oh you poooor baby, you loser. Great, here comes the depression. You have yellow teeth! Your complexion! Fat thighs!
(both men push down her shoulders and she sinks to a sitting position, hands over face)
Harasser #1:
(comical "Home Alone" pose, hands on either side of face, high squeaky pathetic voice) All my bills! Debts! I'm not going to make it! I'm not going to make it!
Woman:
(helpless) I don't think I'm going to make it!
Harassers #1 & #2:
(begin circling her, predatory sharks, but definitely enjoying their job) There's no hope. Nothing to look forward to. (chanting) There's no hope. I'm just a loser. Nothing to look forward to! (begin a little dance step, waving hands, swaying, totally digging it) There's no hope! Loser! Nothing to look forward to! Loser! (they continue)
Woman:
(tortured, she sways, begins weeping, completely hopeless, her swaying rhythm seems to flow right with that of the two HARASSERS)
Harassers #1 & #2:
(continuing dance and chant, really absorbed, picking up the pace, more frenzied, moving in tightening circles about her)
Woman:
(looks up, between the dancing men, above and beyond them, she interlocks her fingers and raises her hands) GOD! HELP ME!
Harassers #1 & #2:
(abruptly break off dance and scurry away, in opposite directions, each of them briefly cowering)
Harasser #2:
(more frightened than partner) See? There she goes. She's resisting!
Harasser #1:
(angry) She's NOT resisting! Come on, she was using His name in vain, that's a couple of points for us.
Harasser #2:
(adamant) I'm telling you, it's a habit! This is where she's been stumping me! She's resisting!
Harasser #1:
You're not helping, you know. Just shut up. It's a textbook case, I tell ya. Come on, Code: Anti-Authority, watch! (steps up to woman) Stop praying. Don't pray. Don't you know you have authority? It was a gift to you, you don't need any help, you can handle any of us, you're stronger than us. We're weak. You're strong. You have your own authority. You have been given your own authority, now use it, use your authority, USE YOUR AUTHORITY!
Harasser #2:
(swallowing and stepping up to bat) Yeah, and, like, you don't really even believe in us, right? Maybe we're just like negative intentions, deep inside, right? You gotta get a handle on it, Baby. We're weak. You're strong. Tell yourself that you have the power. You have authority.
Woman:
(looking confused, her prayer interrupted, shaking head, half smiling) What's wrong with me? Why am I being so negative? I can handle this! (makes a "shooing" gesture with her hands) Go on, get out of here! Go! Leave! I command you! I have authority!
Harassers #1 & #2:
(gawk at her, then look at each other, hold for a pregnant pause, and then both burst into booming laughter) That's it! Take charge! You're in control! Master of your own destiny!
Woman:
(wiping eyes, even laughing a little) Whew. That was close. Thank you, Jesus, for my authority.
Harasser #1:
(claps hands) Okay. Let's not rest on our laurels, here. Code: Anti-Faith, and lay it on THICK.
Harasser #2:
(laughing mercilessly) Ooooh, this is one of my specialties! (steps up to woman) You have to have faith in faith. Faith in faith. Make your faith. You have faith. Strong faith. Big faith. You can move mountains. You got de faith, baby, you have great faith, baby, you have GREAT FAITH. Faith in Faith!
Harasser #1:
Faith in Faith!
Harasser #2:
Faith is the Word!
Harasser #1:
Sure, God gave you that faith. It was a gift, but now it's all your own, Baby! And you have to grit your teeth. Squeeze your fists. And by your own power, Baby, you gonna move dem mountains!
Woman:
(smiling, looking up to heaven) I am going to make it, aren't I, Father? With all this power I can keep off the weight, I can learn languages and get my teeth whitened and get rid of all my bills -- I really can, can't I? I have faith, and I have authority, thank you Jesus!
Harasser #1:
(winking and grinning to #2) Looks like you're not going to have much trouble with her. Look at her, she thinks she's communicating with the Adversary.
Harasser #2:
(laughing) Well in a way, sort of, she is, don'tchya think? At least she's praying to our Adversary's adversary, which is almost the same thing, right? I mean the moon and sun are both up there in the sky. Keep her on this track. Her power. Her authority. Keep her doing affirmations, positive attitude, what we love to call "flesh-ups!" Wow, this is great! Thanks, Bro, I couldn't have done it without ya!
Harasser #1:
Hey, we're here for each other, and with a couple million more cases like this, and I think we're gonna take this show! Remember: keep 'em focused on themselves, not on Him. Keep 'em focused on their problems, their plans, their accomplishments -- ANYWHERE, but on Him.
Harasser #2:
(mock wiping the sweat from forehead) Whew, and here I thought this one was heading for renewal.
(woman continues "praying" as they talk)
Harasser #1:
As long as they have faith in faith, instead of Him, we've got no problem. As long as they trust in their own authority, and not His, we ain't got no prob, slob.
Harasser #2:
I always love the part where they think they're stronger than us. It kills me. That we're wimps and they can stomp on our heads, command us here and there, send us away. I always love that part.
Harasser #1:
I love it when they think they're talking to the Adversary and really they're just speaking to the air.
Harasser #2:
Or us. But, yeah, that's good too. I love 'em both the same -- (pauses, rubs head) huh? What's that?
Harasser #1:
(smile fades) Oh no, I know that feeling. He's here, right now, and she's...
(they look at her, mouths hanging open)
Woman:
(ceases her empty prayer, and looks up to heaven, eyes wide, awestruck -- a look of pure wonderment and peace moves across her face)
Harasser #2:
(dismayed) There she goes again! She's resisting, and this time she's praying in the Spirit!
Harasser #1:
(moves violently toward her) Stop her! Stop praying! You're not worthy! Cut it out! Don't make sense. Stop praying intelligble prayers, come on switch to your PRAYER LANGUAGE!
(they each put a hand upon her shoulder and then instantly withdraw it, burned, they each jump in opposite directions to come down far away from woman, as if she's protected)
Harasser #2:
(afraid, shaking burned hand, begins to hurry away) That's it! I'm outta here! I don't have to put up with --
Harasser #1:
(shaking with rage) HOLD YOUR GROUND! It's not over yet. (turns to woman) You're doubting! Have faith in faith! Have faith in faith! You have authority! Have faith in faith! Use your prayer language! If you mind prospers, your spirit collapses! Don't use your mind! Use your spirit!
Harasser #2:
Use your spirit! Come on! You're making sense! Stop making sense, God hates sense, He loves confusion!
Harasser #1:
Babble, stop using words! Don't listen to Him! Stop it!
Woman:
(serious, peaceful, happy) Father? Not my will, but Yours.
Harasser #2:
(shrieking) No! She's resisting, she's really resisting! She's accepting His will, not her own! (flees)
Harasser #1:
(moves away from woman, shielding himself with raised hands) NO! Stop it! Don't pray, don't pray! (turns to thunder after retreating HARASSER #2)
GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD! WE CAN TURN HER! GET BACK HERE! IT'S NOT OVER!
Woman:
Father? I know I don't know what's best. I can't make decisions, not the best, I know that. So I'm looking to You -- I want You to lead me, Father. Please Jesus, in Your Name...
Harasser #1:
(moves further away, staggering) Cut it out, don't pray, not that way! Don't use His Name, not that way! Return to your teachings, return to the traditions! You need a middleman! Don't talk to Him! Stop it! Remember your authority! Remember your faith!
Woman:
...Jesus, my King, My Lord. I open my heart to You, again!
Harasser #1:
(moves futher away, weak, desperate) The Renewal! Great, she's renewing her mind, she's renewing her spirit! Oh this is going to set us back, it is going to set us back!
Woman:
Deal with my enemies, Jesus. I give them to You.
Harasser #1:
(crying out) I won't leave, no, I won't leave. NO! NO! The Authority! (dashing away, drunkenly) She's appealed to the True Authority!
Woman:
(rising) Thank You, Father. Thank You, Jesus. Not my will, Lord, I want Your will. In your Name, Jesus, I pray, amen.
(she rises, with new confidence, with new hope, with real peace, and with understanding)
Thank You, Lord!
(exits)
__________________________________________
Completely free Christian scripts, sketches, mimes.
Always a parable. Storytelling making the difference.
Soldier On. You were created on purpose.
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